Social Monster: Hi, I'm a premier sociologist who has published in the top sociology journals of the world. I would like a job as the first federally approved Sociologist with the Obama White House Administration.
White House Man: Ok, please suggest a hypothetical poilicy to fix our relationship with the middle east.Social Monster: My plan would be to explain to all that political problems are socially constructed. Once we understand how we are structered by structered structures, we can undo the structures that structure us.
White House Man: Hmmmm... don't think the White house needs your services right now.
Social Monster: But the USA needs a sociologist!
White House Man: Why?
Social Monster: Sociologists understand society better than anyone! That's why we avoid society!
Social Monster: Congratulations on your new sociology Phd. You are now a deemed an EXPERT of racial inequality in low-performing, racially heterogenous, mid-sized, Episcopalian, public high schools of Alabam
Social Monster: Which university will you be teaching at?
Generic Asian Man: I'm going to become the principal of the lowest performing high school in Birmingham, Alabama.
Social Monster: WHAT, you'll be working in the applied world? Just because you are an expert on the problem doesn't mean you should solve it! Society is not place for a trained sociologist. Your degree has been revoked.
Generic Asian Man: Shit shit WTF I'm having a mental breakdown! Who shoudl I see? A psychologist or a sociologist?
Social Monster: How hard do you want to work?
Generic Asian Man: Not very hard
Social Monster: See a sociologist. A psychologist will blame you or your family - all which requires processing. A sociologist will balme your mental problems on society
Generic Asian Man: ok how do I find one?
Social Monster: Just apply to graduate school for sociology.
Generic Asian Man: I have more money than you!
SocialMonster: Oh Yeah? I have more cultural capital than you!
Generic Asian Man: I create your cultural capital!!
SocialMonster: You little misrecognized structured bitch.
Generic Asian Man: Help Fire!!! We need more help!!!
Social Monster: Sorry I'm busy thinking. But I will help you socially deconstruct the situation from a culturally materialistic Point-of-View ex post facto.
Generic Asian Man: Can I be your friend?
Social Monster: No!
Generic Asian Man: Why?
Social Monster: Cuz I'm a sociologist, we don't need friends!